It was just supposed to be coffee

Oftentimes, when people meet and begin developing a friendship, simple outings or gatherings serve as cornerstones from which the rest of that relationship seems to evolve.  In the movie, "You've Got Mail", Tom Hanks reveals to Meg Ryan that, if he had met her under different circumstances, he would have asked her for her phone number and from there he'd have asked her to go for coffee, for drinks, dinner or a movie.  These are nonthreatening, logical ways to spend time getting to know one another.  Nowadays, people rely on technology to meet, such as dating websites, yet these basic, historically safe encounters still remain a fundamental part of the process.  Regardless of the method used, it is all about how people meet and how they progress through those various and sometimes awkward stages of getting acquainted.  It is truly remarkable how such brief moments in time may influence the trajectory of one's life; very powerful indeed.

What follows is much like comparing it to the morning commute.  If the traffic is light, then it may not take as long to get to the next destination; however, if it is rush hour, then all bets are off and you find yourself maneuvering in and out of jams, just to move ahead.  Occasionally, you encounter major detours, but even those don't have to be monumental.  You simply have to find an alternate route.  There is roadside assistance, highway patrol, and rest areas along the way, all of which are circulating in the background to support the process.  Hopefully, we don't need to enlist their help, but it is reassuring to have those services available when we need them.  Of course, what we all want to avoid the dreaded accident.  That may present significant issues and the consequences could be emotionally devastating.

Hypothetically then, you exchange phone numbers; perhaps there are several phone conversations even before agreeing to coffee or something more.  Of course, you probably make your own arrangements for transportation for fear that, if things go dramatically off the rails, there is a means of "escaping".  This is all part of the process of this thing  I have called predating.

There is no set timeline for any of these events either; it just seems to take on a life of its own.  There are the usual planned activities and some are more spontaneous.  It's a refreshing mix and part of the intrigue.  Equally, I do believe that the personalities of the parties involved contributes greatly too.  There are any numbers of factors that garner influence, but in the end, it all takes time, continued interest, and a modicum of effort for the process to move forward.

So, where does this all lead?  The possibilities are just as varied as there are flavors of coffee today, and it all might begin with that simple cup of java.  Given the variety and absolute number of coffee shops today,  this whole experience may be "unavoidable".  Who would have thought that such a common everyday behavior could be something created by the coffee industry to propagate the masses?  Here I am thinking, it was just supposed be coffee.  C'est la vie!

Penny Candy

In an era not long ago, cities and towns across America and for that matter worldwide had neighborhood convenience stores.  The concept of the large superstore hadn't yet been brought to the masses and most of us relied on these oftentimes, family owned businesses to be there for the basic food emergencies.  My experience was just that with a little twist.  Allow me to explain.

The neighborhood store was there as a lifeline for my friends and me when it was too far to walk home to fetch a snack. The oasis in the "hood" provided the perfect blend of needs and wants for a child.   What young kid could make it through the day without a few treats to survive to dinner?  Well, all I can say is thanks to the many people who provided this critical service at a time when the neighborhood was an extension of the back yard play ground.

In my home town, I could name dozens of such establishments.  The businesses survived on the daily foot traffic from the locals and in those days, most of the patrons came on foot, as not all families even had a car or cars.  I remember such places as Ted's, MacNevin's, Cote's, Antelle's, Liberty Market, Belanger's, Rallis' , The Elm Street Cash Market, and even a place called Dowdy's.  They served as cornerstones of the local commerce.

Back in the day however, soda bottles had a 2 cent return and all of these places would gladly take in the bottles.  We'd line our pockets with the cold hard cash for only a moment ,however; this windfall afforded us purchasing power and we wasted little time spending it.  This behavior really served 2 purposes, the bottles got returned and we had "piggy banks" that looked more like trash barrels!  If you recall, there was an old Cracker Jacks commercial that demonstrated this vey point.  The young boy traded in in his jacks and a few pennies to pay for his box of CJ!  Those were the days.

On saturday afternoons in the fall, the high school would play their home football games just down the street in a WPA era built stadium.  I wasn't much for watching the games in those days but if it was a warm, sunny afternoon, my friends and I would wander down to the stadium to catch the second half of the game.  By that time, we were permitted to enter without paying.  Something we could "afford" on our budgets.  After the patrons departed, my friends and I cashed in by starting to collect the empty soda bottles, and the pennies were adding up.  The challenge was hauling our loot to the store, but we managed for the rewards were sweet!  Depending on how much we actually collected, we could get an ice cream, a bottle of tonic, and some penny candy.  We were living the dream; it was free money and we could do with it as we pleased.  After the owner of Belanger's filled our small brown bags full, we'd go out to sit on the stone wall and bask in the Sun with smiles of our faces.  Heaven on earth, or at least for awhile.

This scenario repeated itself as long as the warm weather was on our side.  We'd pick up bottles at the town park too and head to Ted's, different store, same outcome.  We were financial wizards of sorts.  I remember pointing to the candy through the glass case and muttering, "I'll have one of those and two of those, until we had spent our net worth.  As they say, another day another handful of pennies for us!

As I reflect on this little part of my youth, I now realize just how fortunate I was to have this whole experience.  Kids today likely don't get this kind of opportunity.  We were outside for hours roaming the streets, without a care in the world.  If hunger struck and we could find some returnables, the neighborhood stores were open for business.  More importantly, however, we were resourceful, had enough when we needed it, and the store owners welcomed their patrons, both young and old.  It was oh so sweet!

I Feel the Need for Speed...Golf

In the movie, Top Gun, there is a scene where Maverick and Goose were preparing for their training mission and high-fived each other while blurting out that they felt the need for speed!  The expression has become an iconic movie line. 

When I trained for the Ironman in Lake Placid, NY in 1999,  I had come across an article discussing speed golfing.  I had put my golfing interests aside to focus on the monumental task of training for an IM.  However, to keep things interesting during a family vacation, I picked up the sticks to do some of my run training while playing a few holes of golf.  There was a par 3 course at the resort, so it seemed like the perfect opportunity to do some sprint training on a softer surface.

The par 3 course was quite typical,  a 1000 yards long and most of the holes were around a 100 yards.  So, I selected my 3 clubs accordingly, a putter, a 9 iron, and a wedge, plenty enough for this tract of real estate.  I simply carried my clubs in one hand, put a few balls in my pocket and off I went.  Although I had begun my IM training in earnest, I wasn't as well prepared for this iteration of run training, as I expected.  However, after successive rounds, it became easier, and the scoring improved too.  In an hours time, I managed to play 45 holes and was able to break 30 at least twice, no aces on the card, however.  All in all, a fun "day" on the links and an interesting twist to a game I had grown up playing.  

Earlier last year, I received a notification for SGUSA's US Open in friendly upstate NY.  Coincidentally, it was being held in the community where I did my residency training.  I have some dear friends still living in the area so the invitation to compete in this event provided the inertia to rekindle that enthusiasm for golf but without the lengthy commitment of time, a perfect combination.

I actually had been training for a short distance triathlon, so naturally, I thought I'd be in a good position to "just do it", not appreciating that the golfing element wasn't going to be quite so easy this time.  We played at 2 separate venues, each measuring out at over 6000 yards and the heat index approached 100 degrees.  I'll be the first to admit now that this was quite an undertaking, but one I haven't regretted at all.  In fact, the experience has generated a new found love of golf, coupled with a passion to be outdoors while "running",  a veritable trifecta of fun.

Although my first foray into this arena has been, shall we say, a long run spoiled, I have thoroughly enjoyed the adventure.  However, I can see the potential for this sport to take off, and I'm excited to be a part of the "club"!

Man, I had it Easy

Dear Lorenzo...Larry...Lawrence Arturo

As you approach your seventh decade of life, I want to wish you Happy Birthday and may you enjoy many more to come. Of course, as I think of the many years we've had together, there are such a vast number of memories that flood my mind. 

 You are and always will be my older brother and for that I am fortunate. You were a Yankee in Little League and we all become Yankees. You made it easy. 

Your Boy Scouting experience taught you how to use a Coleman stove which you in turn taught all of us to use.  You were the master packer for our cross country trips, each piece of luggage had its appointed place in the trailer and you made it all fit in like a puzzle.  You made it easy.

 You followed Jean, a trail blazer to Title IX, by continuing to play both basketball and baseball. That paved the way for me. You made it easy. 

 You followed Jean and Betsy to UMASS and then took me under your wing during my first semester when I had Leo T. Baldwin for a roommate. You introduced me to your friends, we shared classes such as star gazing, basketball, and Genetics together. You made it easy. 

 We started out in Guadalajara together and once again you introduced me to your friends, before leaving for BU. You made it easy. 

 You joined Dad after residency to "hold down the fort" before my arrival a year later. You made it easy. 

 You encouraged me to attend Molly's graduation from SLU during a difficult time, and that forever changed my relationship with her. For that, I will be forever grateful. You made it easy. 

 Now, with Mary you have welcomed 4 wonderful daughters, in-laws and grandchildren into your life and we all have enjoyed their presence in ours. You made it easy. 

 So, as you embark on this next decade, your 70's, thank you for being my older brother. Man I had it easy!

 Love you, Happy Birthday and enjoy continued good health and happiness for many years to come. Stephen

'A Date Which Will Live in Infamy.'

78 years ago today, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt addressed the nation regarding the news of the attack on Pearl Harbor, thus drawing the United States into the second World War.  Germany was already engaged in war in Europe, but full scale involvement came after the attacks of December 7th.  Anyone who was alive and old enough on that horrible day, likely, remembers it with uncanny detail.

Historical events of this magnitude rarely can be fully understood, perhaps for generations; however, the impact may define the future, and this was no exception.

On the morning of December 7th, many lives were lost and millions more fell victim in the years that followed.  My father had 2 cousins go down with the ships in Pearl Harbor, so it is with sincere emotion for those who remain known, only through the memory of this day and the stories told, that I reiterate what has been said so many times beforehand, we must never forget.

To all those who perished, may you rest in peace, and to the greatest generation who served, we are forever grateful!

Remembering D-Day...75 years later

We live in an era when the news of the day is nearly real time.  Long ago are the days when the reports from the front came days or even weeks later.  Today, it is this seemingly constant siege of information that has us, at times, overwhelmed.  This is the world we live in, a global community of constant news updates.  However, as the years pass and the memory of these historic events begin to fade, it is of paramount importance that their impact and significance never be forgotten.

I have read about the D-Day invasion and have seen footage of that epic day from WWII.  It always shakes me to my core, reflecting on the horrors of this war.  The human sacrifice remains immeasurable.

This is why we must never forget.  D-Day, together with many other now famous conflicts of WWII, changed the course of world history, and it is up to us to protect, preserve, and forever honor those for the gift we inherited!

https://youtu.be/qda__aFhR6I

Why?

Memorial Day, formally known as Decoration Day, is a holiday that was created as an annual day of remembrance for the men and women who have so bravely served, defended, and perhaps died for our country; it is traditionally marked by prayer services, parades, and family gatherings; it is all of those.  However, Memorial Day's significance is far greater than many of us can possibly comprehend, so it is imperative that we all must share the burden of this stress that so many of our fellow Americans have witnessed and endured.

Having grown up with a WWII veteran, I was exposed to episodic discussions about the horrors of war.  Not surprisingly, however, many of those stories ended when the tenor of the conversation brought my father to tears.  Naturally, we didn't pursue the reasons, because we knew that "war is hell", and he had had a glimpse into that dark abyss.  He once said to me, "we had to go; it was a war that had to be fought."  Knowing my father, it was his sense of compassion for his fellow man and the love of his country that he would even have considered picking up a weapon.

Reflecting on this Memorial Day, I find myself wondering, "will there ever be a day when we all can live in harmony?"  I am reminded of the words from "This is My Song", set to the music of Jean Sebelius' Finlandia, and what a gift it would be one day to have peace reign over all lands!  Perhaps the more appropriate question then is, "When?" Thank you to all those who have made this sacrifice for blessed are the peacemakers...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDXNHPeRB0k