It was just supposed to be coffee

Oftentimes, when people meet and begin developing a friendship, simple outings or gatherings serve as cornerstones from which the rest of that relationship seems to evolve.  In the movie, "You've Got Mail", Tom Hanks reveals to Meg Ryan that, if he had met her under different circumstances, he would have asked her for her phone number and from there he'd have asked her to go for coffee, for drinks, dinner or a movie.  These are nonthreatening, logical ways to spend time getting to know one another.  Nowadays, people rely on technology to meet, such as dating websites, yet these basic, historically safe encounters still remain a fundamental part of the process.  Regardless of the method used, it is all about how people meet and how they progress through those various and sometimes awkward stages of getting acquainted.  It is truly remarkable how such brief moments in time may influence the trajectory of one's life; very powerful indeed.

What follows is much like comparing it to the morning commute.  If the traffic is light, then it may not take as long to get to the next destination; however, if it is rush hour, then all bets are off and you find yourself maneuvering in and out of jams, just to move ahead.  Occasionally, you encounter major detours, but even those don't have to be monumental.  You simply have to find an alternate route.  There is roadside assistance, highway patrol, and rest areas along the way, all of which are circulating in the background to support the process.  Hopefully, we don't need to enlist their help, but it is reassuring to have those services available when we need them.  Of course, what we all want to avoid the dreaded accident.  That may present significant issues and the consequences could be emotionally devastating.

Hypothetically then, you exchange phone numbers; perhaps there are several phone conversations even before agreeing to coffee or something more.  Of course, you probably make your own arrangements for transportation for fear that, if things go dramatically off the rails, there is a means of "escaping".  This is all part of the process of this thing  I have called predating.

There is no set timeline for any of these events either; it just seems to take on a life of its own.  There are the usual planned activities and some are more spontaneous.  It's a refreshing mix and part of the intrigue.  Equally, I do believe that the personalities of the parties involved contributes greatly too.  There are any numbers of factors that garner influence, but in the end, it all takes time, continued interest, and a modicum of effort for the process to move forward.

So, where does this all lead?  The possibilities are just as varied as there are flavors of coffee today, and it all might begin with that simple cup of java.  Given the variety and absolute number of coffee shops today,  this whole experience may be "unavoidable".  Who would have thought that such a common everyday behavior could be something created by the coffee industry to propagate the masses?  Here I am thinking, it was just supposed be coffee.  C'est la vie!

Penny Candy

In an era not long ago, cities and towns across America and for that matter worldwide had neighborhood convenience stores.  The concept of the large superstore hadn't yet been brought to the masses and most of us relied on these oftentimes, family owned businesses to be there for the basic food emergencies.  My experience was just that with a little twist.  Allow me to explain.

The neighborhood store was there as a lifeline for my friends and me when it was too far to walk home to fetch a snack. The oasis in the "hood" provided the perfect blend of needs and wants for a child.   What young kid could make it through the day without a few treats to survive to dinner?  Well, all I can say is thanks to the many people who provided this critical service at a time when the neighborhood was an extension of the back yard play ground.

In my home town, I could name dozens of such establishments.  The businesses survived on the daily foot traffic from the locals and in those days, most of the patrons came on foot, as not all families even had a car or cars.  I remember such places as Ted's, MacNevin's, Cote's, Antelle's, Liberty Market, Belanger's, Rallis' , The Elm Street Cash Market, and even a place called Dowdy's.  They served as cornerstones of the local commerce.

Back in the day however, soda bottles had a 2 cent return and all of these places would gladly take in the bottles.  We'd line our pockets with the cold hard cash for only a moment ,however; this windfall afforded us purchasing power and we wasted little time spending it.  This behavior really served 2 purposes, the bottles got returned and we had "piggy banks" that looked more like trash barrels!  If you recall, there was an old Cracker Jacks commercial that demonstrated this vey point.  The young boy traded in in his jacks and a few pennies to pay for his box of CJ!  Those were the days.

On saturday afternoons in the fall, the high school would play their home football games just down the street in a WPA era built stadium.  I wasn't much for watching the games in those days but if it was a warm, sunny afternoon, my friends and I would wander down to the stadium to catch the second half of the game.  By that time, we were permitted to enter without paying.  Something we could "afford" on our budgets.  After the patrons departed, my friends and I cashed in by starting to collect the empty soda bottles, and the pennies were adding up.  The challenge was hauling our loot to the store, but we managed for the rewards were sweet!  Depending on how much we actually collected, we could get an ice cream, a bottle of tonic, and some penny candy.  We were living the dream; it was free money and we could do with it as we pleased.  After the owner of Belanger's filled our small brown bags full, we'd go out to sit on the stone wall and bask in the Sun with smiles of our faces.  Heaven on earth, or at least for awhile.

This scenario repeated itself as long as the warm weather was on our side.  We'd pick up bottles at the town park too and head to Ted's, different store, same outcome.  We were financial wizards of sorts.  I remember pointing to the candy through the glass case and muttering, "I'll have one of those and two of those, until we had spent our net worth.  As they say, another day another handful of pennies for us!

As I reflect on this little part of my youth, I now realize just how fortunate I was to have this whole experience.  Kids today likely don't get this kind of opportunity.  We were outside for hours roaming the streets, without a care in the world.  If hunger struck and we could find some returnables, the neighborhood stores were open for business.  More importantly, however, we were resourceful, had enough when we needed it, and the store owners welcomed their patrons, both young and old.  It was oh so sweet!

I Feel the Need for Speed...Golf

In the movie, Top Gun, there is a scene where Maverick and Goose were preparing for their training mission and high-fived each other while blurting out that they felt the need for speed!  The expression has become an iconic movie line. 

When I trained for the Ironman in Lake Placid, NY in 1999,  I had come across an article discussing speed golfing.  I had put my golfing interests aside to focus on the monumental task of training for an IM.  However, to keep things interesting during a family vacation, I picked up the sticks to do some of my run training while playing a few holes of golf.  There was a par 3 course at the resort, so it seemed like the perfect opportunity to do some sprint training on a softer surface.

The par 3 course was quite typical,  a 1000 yards long and most of the holes were around a 100 yards.  So, I selected my 3 clubs accordingly, a putter, a 9 iron, and a wedge, plenty enough for this tract of real estate.  I simply carried my clubs in one hand, put a few balls in my pocket and off I went.  Although I had begun my IM training in earnest, I wasn't as well prepared for this iteration of run training, as I expected.  However, after successive rounds, it became easier, and the scoring improved too.  In an hours time, I managed to play 45 holes and was able to break 30 at least twice, no aces on the card, however.  All in all, a fun "day" on the links and an interesting twist to a game I had grown up playing.  

Earlier last year, I received a notification for SGUSA's US Open in friendly upstate NY.  Coincidentally, it was being held in the community where I did my residency training.  I have some dear friends still living in the area so the invitation to compete in this event provided the inertia to rekindle that enthusiasm for golf but without the lengthy commitment of time, a perfect combination.

I actually had been training for a short distance triathlon, so naturally, I thought I'd be in a good position to "just do it", not appreciating that the golfing element wasn't going to be quite so easy this time.  We played at 2 separate venues, each measuring out at over 6000 yards and the heat index approached 100 degrees.  I'll be the first to admit now that this was quite an undertaking, but one I haven't regretted at all.  In fact, the experience has generated a new found love of golf, coupled with a passion to be outdoors while "running",  a veritable trifecta of fun.

Although my first foray into this arena has been, shall we say, a long run spoiled, I have thoroughly enjoyed the adventure.  However, I can see the potential for this sport to take off, and I'm excited to be a part of the "club"!