From Here to Eternity

The summer of 2013 has been one for the ages, but for my parents, it has been one for the "aged".  The years had taken a toll on both of them, but their love for each other and their family, kept them going.  However, even though their minds were willing, their bodies simply became weakened by the years, and for two nonagenarians, their love story awaited the inevitable change.

For years, my mother's health seemed somewhat more fragile than my father's, but the story behind the scenes was that my father was medically more fragile.  His failing adrenal glands couldn't rise to the stress of every day life any more, and with it, he simply awoke on a Sunday morning in July and knew that the end was near.  Often times, he'd remark at the dinner table that my mother would live forever because she had such a robust appetite.  Meanwhile, I think he was warning us that his was waning, so when he announced he had no appetite, we knew what that meant.  He died two days later with his family at his side, but not before making sure his conscience was clear of any unfinished business.  He spoke with his remaining brother and several grandchildren who weren't able to make the trip in time, but when he passed away, he had the reassurance that his work was done.  It's remarkable how, even under such duress, a person's resolve can mount the energy necessary to complete those tasks.  There is no explanation, except thy will be done.

Although surrounded by her loving family, my mother had enjoyed such a fulfilling and happy married life that to overcome the emptiness that was created by this kind of loss, at her age, likely wasn't going to happen.  We enjoyed the remaining weeks of summer caring for and supporting mom, but without her "daddy", we knew mom wasn't going to be far behind.  Just weeks before she died, my sisters escorted her into her favorite room, the sun parlor, for an afternoon nap.  She insisted on sitting in one of the other chairs in the room rather than her comfy recliner, so they made adjustments for her to plop down in this other chair.  Shortly after getting settled, she spied the wedding picture that graced the table across the room, and she  proclaimed, "that was the love of my life".  You knew with those few words, that she had processed the loss.

Now that both of my parents have passed away, the void that exists is for those they left behind.  Death is a natural part of life, and we all knew that the family would be faced with this inevitability some day. However, to have had both parents go so closely in time, only magnifies the absence.  More accurately however,  we recognize there is no cure for a broken heart, and my mom confirmed that yet again.  Time will help us through this process, but saying good bye hasn't been easy!